


Like We Were Yesterday

by bgrrl



Category: 21 Jump Street
Genre: Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 20:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bgrrl/pseuds/bgrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last time they said goodbye it was a disaster, maybe this time things will go better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like We Were Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Thank you to 7thgeisha for the beta and her comments on the flow.  
> Sadly neither Ioki or Hanson belong to me. I wish they did :)
> 
> The Gutter is not a real bowling alley. Arrogant Bastard is however a real beer. It's pretty darn good. Try it if you ever have the chance.

Harry sighs with relief as he turns into his driveway. The kids had really tried his patience today. He loves his job but sometimes trying to get your average teenager to appreciate the finer points of great literature is . . . challenging. It's still early and he's debating going for a run before making dinner. Harry almost steps on the mail when he opens the front door. He's really got to put in a mail box; he hates stepping on the mail. He shuffles through it. There's a letter from Judy and that means there's a letter from Tom. Tom's letters always come via Judy. In the beginning it was easier. She used to call it Hoffs' Express and joke that she should charge them. Seeing the letter in the mail makes him smile, it always does. Jenko is nipping at his heels the second he walks in, jumping all over, and wagging his tail. Looks like it's going to be run first, then dinner.

He drops the mail on the coffee table and goes to change. It's uncommonly warm even for Los Angeles in January, so he and Jenko take the long way home. After dinner he sits down with a glass of wine and the letters. He starts with Judy's; even though they talk on the phone every few months he likes reading her letters. There is something about the written word that he savors, it allows him to immerse himself in their lives. If only for a moment it's like they're all together again, like he's living the best parts of the life he left behind. He takes a moment to appreciate Judy's perfectly right slanted, loopy handwriting, before he starts reading. Judy's letters always follow a specific order: work, family, then about a million questions about what Harry's been up to since the last time they spoke. She's decided to accept the offer to move to the sex crimes unit. She thinks she can do some good there. Harry doesn't doubt that she'll do a lot of good in that unit. Jessica's gotten straight A's, again, a perfectionist just like her mother. He can almost feel Judy's pride radiating off the page.

He pours himself another glass before he opens Tom's letter. He allows himself to drift into Tom's life. Tom's letters are always long, rambling, vaguely disorganized and written in more than one sitting, as evidenced by the different types of ink. Events jotted down as they happen; things he thinks will interest Harry; the things that make Tom happy. Harry supposes Tom saves his meticulous organization and spelling for work. He talks as much as he can about the kids he works with, without violating the rules of professional privacy. Most of them are doing well. He always includes information about Ms. Hanson and her latest boyfriend. Tom isn't sure he likes him, he's a dentist. Harry makes a mental note to send her a thank you note for the Christmas present she sent. There was a time he thought she'd stop sending him gifts, but Ms. Hanson hasn't missed a Christmas yet. Tom has a weekend gig playing guitar at a coffee shop. The owner owns the bowling alley next door. If Tom keeps the place full on Saturdays he gets free games. Harry laughs, some things don't change. The car is doing fine, though she had a near miss with a careless cabbie. Only Tom would write about the car like she was part of the family. It's the P.S. that makes him pause. It's written in pencil and looks like it's been erased and re-written.

 _I'm going to be in LA next month for a conference on counseling at-risk youth. Thought maybe I could drop by and say hi?_

The fact that it's a question, that Tom feels like maybe Harry won't want to see him after all this time causes a weight to settle in his chest; it feels like regret. They haven't seen or spoken to each other since they said goodbye.

Harry still remembers. He was gone already, taken a leave of absence. He'd skipped Tom's goodbye party, figured he wouldn't be good company. He was dealing with too much then, trying to figure out if he was going to leave the force for good, trying to stay off the painkillers, trying to figure out who he was. Besides, they'd said goodbye when Harry left, so his attendance wasn't strictly necessary. He sent his goodbyes through Judy, but he wasn't surprised when a few nights later Tom showed up at his door. Of course Tom had wanted to say goodbye in person. They were like family then. He remembers Tom looked a little nervous standing there outside his apartment. If he closes his eyes he can see them, too young for the lives they were living.

Tom said he was moving out of the city; he needed a change. Harry, offered him a beer and asked how he decided on New York. Tom smiled looking a little sheepish and said, “dart board.” They laughed easy, and minutes turned into hours. He noticed Tom staring at him, at his mouth. He stopped talking, so did Tom. The silence was loaded, awkward. Tom impulsive, leaned in, kissed him.

The kiss was desperate, awkward, unexpected. Still Harry had kissed him back, just for a moment. Just until his brain caught up with his body and then he stopped. He'd pushed Tom away. He wasn't ready for this. Tom had started apologizing immediately, tripping over his words, spilling secrets. Harry didn't say a thing. How did you tell someone who would die for you, that you can't love them the way they want you to? Or maybe he could have, but he was just too young, too confused, too afraid. Finally, Tom just said, “I'm sorry.” Harry just said, “goodbye.” He opens his eyes, and he's surprised that memory is so vivid. That it still stings, just a little.

It's Sunday afternoon before he has time to sit down and answer their letters, he starts with Judy's first as always. Yes, the kids finally got into Wuthering Heights His advanced class is loving Dostoevsky, thank goodness. No he will not be calling Aiden the doctor, again. The man took conceited to new levels. The date with Michael, the coffee guy was pleasant, but there weren't any sparks. He still makes Harry's coffee just right, so no harm done. Then Tom's letter, more details about his students, fewer about his love life. He assures Tom that his Mom's taste in men has improved tremendously since Bob, and dentists are not at all shifty. No Tom should most definitely not buy a hamster.

 _P.S. Of course it's okay if you drop by and say hi. In fact I know a bowling alley that serves about 75 different beers._

 __

  
The next few weeks pass in a flurry of giving and grading mid-terms and papers. Harry has also started teaching ESOL, two evenings a week. He hasn't had much time to think about Tom, and he hasn't gotten a response to his latest letter. So he's surprised when he checks his messages and there's one from Tom. Judy gave him the number, of course she she did. Tom doesn't say much, just that he arrives next Wednesday, and will be in the city for a week. He leaves his phone number. Over the next few days they communicate through phone messages, always missing each other by an hour. Apparently neither of them can master time zone conversions. They plan to meet Thursday at _The Gutter_. Harry thinks it's an awful name for a bowling alley, but they do have the best selection of beers in L.A.    


Harry's sitting at the bar and he's starting to wonder if this was a good idea. Maybe it was better to stick to letter writing, maybe they won't have anything to say once they're face to face, maybe Tom thinks this isn't a good idea either because he's about 15 minutes late. He hears his name just over his shoulder and to the left. Harry recognizes the voice immediately, and turns around. The hair is a little messy and a lot longer. There are a few lines around the eyes; there are glasses but it's Tom and he's still beautiful. They hug and it feels good. Harry orders them both Arrogant Bastards, and they grab a lane. They bowl, they drink, they talk, and the years evaporate. When Tom wonders whatever happened to those hamsters, Harry laughs so hard his ball goes right into the gutter. That's when he notices the time. It's past midnight, Harry wonders how the last five hours just disappeared. They say goodnight and without thinking Harry asks Tom if he wants to go to dinner tomorrow night. He knows this Middle Eastern place makes the best baba ghanoush. Tom says, “yes,” and Harry could swear he sees him blush.

Somehow he ends up spending all day Saturday with Tom at the observatory, when he should be grading papers. He forces himself to stay home and grade those papers on Sunday, but he can't stop thinking about Tom. He didn't think it would be this easy. He wishes it wasn't, it makes him think about what might have been. He shakes his head and refuses to allow himself to go down that path. Things happen or in their case don't happen for a reason. He's not going to let himself start thinking about Tom as anything more than a friend. Besides he invited him over for a farewell dinner on Tuesday night and the last thing they need is another awful goodbye.

  
Tuesday night Tom shows up precisely at six o'clock; he's gotten the hang of driving in L.A.   Jenko is all over Tom.   When it's time to eat Harry has to put the dog outside. Jenko and Tom both seem disappointed. After dinner he and Tom take their beers to the living room. The minutes turn into hours. He notices Tom staring at him, at his mouth. He stops talking, so does Tom. The silence is loaded. This time it's Harry who leans in slowly giving Tom time to back out. He meets Harry halfway. This time the kiss isn't desperate or awkward. It's slow, it's sweet, it's right.


End file.
